ETA: Annnnnndddd….always read the fine print. I was taken in by a fake news story at a parody site. Mea culpa.
I’ll leave this up as (a) a warning to self not to be an idiot, and (b) as a reminder of how hard it is (at least for me), in this election year of our discontent, to tell the difference between what should be obvious parody, and what is.
I’ll start by saying that no state could withstand a characterization drawn only from its most batsh*t crazy denizens. So I apologize in advance for painting the great, diverse and fascinating state of Texas with a broad brush.
I’ll also note that it does matter a bit that so many of the most batsh*t insane Texans seem to end up in state government. What this says about the too many Texans who put them there I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader.
Today’s Texan OMG S/HE SAID WUT???!!!! comes from TX state rep. Debbie Riddle (R-Planet Ten), who’s got a problem with the idea of one particular subset of her fellow double-X Americans doing their ladybusiness in public:
Rep. Debbie Riddle requested that the bill be modified to contain some conditions that not all mothers are going to like. Namely, the modified bill states, among other things, that “only women who possess the breast size C-cup or smaller shall be allowed to breastfeed in public areas.” Asked to comment on the discriminatory clause in the bill, Riddle simply stated, “Nature knows what it’s doing.”
I have to say that I really hope that this is somehow a hoax, that Riddle really didn’t say what she’s reported to said. Because here’s where she is described as going next:
She also added, “It’s for the greater good. We already have more than enough distractions when walking the streets, and we don’t need this one as well.”
You know that old line, “when you hit bottom, stop digging?” Riddle apparently does not:
“…everybody knows what happens when a woman with a D-cup size breasts starts breastfeeding her child in the park or on the street. Everybody immediately stops and starts staring.
Riddle also added that“studies have shown that women with bigger breasts are not commonly associated with modest behavior.”
Alright. If the Texan legislator really did say all that (and more! — check out the link!) I got nuthin. Or perhaps, as our legal beagle friends might say, res ipsa loquitur.
Ladles and Jellyspoons, have at it. For me, I despair of the Republic. Or at least that part of it that gave us the Honorable Riddle.
Image: Lucas Cranach the Elder, The Virgin Giving Suck c. 1515