Posted tagged ‘Bugs’

It’s Too Damn Hot — Unprovoked ‘Orrible Pun Dept.

July 19, 2011

Writing about the follies of his lordship, the Third Viscount of Self-Delusion, brought to mind the terrible pun me old mum* used to relish whenever excessive aristocratic pretension loomed.

It runs like this:

Q:  If a centipede a pint…

…And a millipede a quart,

How much has the philanthropist?

A:  Quite a lot, for he’s a very liberal peer.

That’s what I got.  You?

Oh, and BTW:  this is not punishment; it’s an open thread.

*You may infer from the adjective that me mum is also the late Mrs. Levenson. Woe be the miscreant that misdirected the epithet “old” so carelessly…

Image:  Kuniyoshi Utagawa, The Dragon Princess, 1845.

(In this scene, the Dragon Princess rises from the water to bid Hidesato, standing on the shore of lake Biwa with his bow, to rid the lake of the giant centipede Seta.)

 

Still a Few Bugs in the System: Google Voice edition

November 29, 2009

Unedited (though topped and tailed to remove identifiers), parse this voicemail message, as interpreted by the non-evil doers at Google:

I’m waiting for just pick me up from the hospital. I spent last night here and I am now much better. They a ring me out and shot a bullet up up the under, and expand the bat. Let me know what the drives and I’m going to be fine, but it was husband full day dry.

Errr…Up to a point, Lord Copper.

Which leads, for old time’s sake, to this: