What I Think About the Hour Before the Dentist Goes Medieval on my Gumline:

Deep scaling (don’t askWarning. Don’t click on that link.  Really gross image on the other side) to come at the disgustingly appropriate appointment time of 2:30 (my eight year-old liked that one).  So I digress, in any way I can.  I’m sure there are important matters of science and society to consider, but I’m thinking blood and molars, so it’ll all have to wait.

To that end, consider this piece of delightful Boston v. Los Angeles trash talk — from the LA Times, no less!:

The Celtics and Lakers can even be defined by their color analysts. Tom Heinsohn is a hulking beast who looks like a hitman. Mychal Thompson is from the Bahamas and wears sandals and puka shells.  Heinsohn is Tony Soprano, Thompson is Bob Marley.

If the Celtics had Laker Girls, they would be Janet Reno and Madeline Albright.

The Lakers are fast and fun and athletic and entertaining and pretty as can be.  I love the Lakers!  I say, to heck with the tacos!  Headbands for everyone!   Or free passes to Lamar’s favorite day spa.

Let them score 120, give up 110 and we can all all go home happy, without the angst.

As Paul McCartney was just telling me, Let It Be.

Think of it like this: The Celtics are Rottweilers, the Lakers French Poodles. The Celtics bite your arm off. The Lakers win Best in Show.

If the Celtics were a video game, they’d be Grand Theft Auto.  The Lakers are Tickle Me Elmo.

In movie terms, the Lakers are Paul Newman, the Celtics Charles Bronson. Newman made better movies, aesthetically he was the one you wanted to watch and paid to see.

Except of course that it was Bronson who kills everyone in the end.

— Ted Green

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2 Comments on “What I Think About the Hour Before the Dentist Goes Medieval on my Gumline:”


  1. A little too late to distract you from impending doom, here’s something I learned just last night at a holiday party: If you’ve given oral sex, be sure to floss thoroughly before visiting the dentist.


  2. lol above comment is pretty funny, make sure you also use mouth wash!


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