Michael D. Reveals The Secret Homosexual Tactics For Taking Over America

Over at Balloon Juice, Michael D. finally succumbs to the pressure and admits what we all suspected:  gay shock troops are trained and ready  to take over your town.

Here, hour by hour, see the the diabolical sequence of moves through which the gay militia will achieve their nefarious ends:

Homosexual agenda:

1. Get up at 6
2. Drink 2 cups of coffee
3. Get stuck in traffic on way to work
4. Work
5. Lunch
6. Work
7. Gym
8. Dinner
9. TV
10. Bed
11. Get up at 6

And you know what’s worse?

Once those dastardly destroyers of my own personal marriage get their way, they’ll have spouses and kids who will increase the deadly efficiency with which the gay agenda as they find themselves  in parent-teacher conferences; bread sales to raise money for school trips; long, unheard explanations about why cleaning up one’s own Lego instead of watching Danny Phantom is in fact an essential element of childhood; extended conversations about whose in-laws are least likely to drive their own child back into infantile derangement during the holidays; whose turn it is to bag the recycling…and so on.*

You have been warned.

*Not that I, my wife, and my son have experienced any of these phenomena, of course.

Image:  Caravaggio, “Amor Vincit Omnia” (Love conquers all), 1602-1603.

Explore posts in the same categories: random humor, Snark, Stupidity

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2 Comments on “Michael D. Reveals The Secret Homosexual Tactics For Taking Over America”

  1. dan Says:

    every day

  2. molly Says:

    That’s a really small penis. Why do artists insist on unnaturally small penises? Well, he’s got a hot body, but that penis doesn’t exist anywhere on this planet.

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