Worst use of technology nominee: Food and Beverage Division

Caution: bad tempered vent to come.  Coors is the target, and their advertising goons.  Avoid if such old-fogeydom  annoys you.

———————-

I love science.  I really love technology.  I’m a toy and gadget freak.  I think it is amazingly cool that a bit of engineering mojo produces stuff like this.

But I have become truly sick of this.  Leave aside the raw contempt the associated ad campaign has for both stupid wives and boorish husbands…just stop to think about all the engineering talent that Coors brought to bear on  the design problem involved in making “The new vented wide mouth directs airflow into the can to enhance the swigging experience for can drinkers.”

Enhance the swigging experience?

Excuse me.  Just say it.  Time to chug.

Pity the poor team, up against the launch deadline, doing their 18/7s, working out the perfect size and shape and airflow and the rest, and then suddenly looking up and realize that their accumulated decades of person-years of study and experience had just been devoted to the task of speeding frat boys (superannuated, if the ad series is to be believed) towards their desired level of alcoholic coma.

All those problem sets and robot labs for this?

Just for the record:  it’s not beer that’s the problem (though it remains an open question how much violence one does to the language by calling Coors “beer”); what bugs me is the sheer mindlessness of the product differentiation game being played here.  Does anyone out there really care about the hole in the top of their beer cans?  If you want to gulp it down faster…just put it in a plastic cup or ten.  Otherwise, just shut up.

Image:  Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, “Monsieur Boileau,” 1893.  Image:  Wikimedia Commons.

Explore posts in the same categories: bad ideas, Engineering, ridicule, Who thought that was a good idea?

Tags: , , , , ,

You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.

One Comment on “Worst use of technology nominee: Food and Beverage Division”


  1. Hey, man, you’re allowed to vent. Want me to come over and help? I could even bring some real beer.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: