Hi. I’m from Harvard and I’m here to help.

Great moments in pretention this Friday: I was on my way to Widener Library, (one of the seven wonders of the modern world — really) on another Isaac Newton run when I had to jump out of the way of a truck bent on serious business inside Harvard Yard. As it sped by through the slush I read its mission on its rear door. The vehicle was on a mission from — and I’m not kidding — Harvard University’s “Culinary Support Group.”

Culinary Support Group? As in, your hollandaise is separating and I’m here to help? Does the meat squad wear Julia Child t-shirts? Is there a 24 hour phone center in Bangalore to provide user support (at $35 a call) for silverware malfunctions?

Harvard’s website reveals that their culinary swat team actually work in a prepared food kitchen/blast chiller on campus, and I guess I can see sort of what they were trying to say with the name…but it still seems to me to be a bit of classic Harvardiana. Just calling it a central kitchen would have been, perhaps, a little too infra dig.

Image: Maria Fyodorovna, “Still Life,” 1868. Source: Wikipedia Commons

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